I am a huge proponent of Gratitude – every night I write 10 things that I am grateful for that day. When I reflect back on what I have written, the majority of them are about other people – kids, family, situations and events that I have participated in with friends, outside things such as my home, my garden, not so much about ME.
Have you ever taken time to really, REALLY appreciate how frigging amazing you are? How valued you are? Or do you define your value based on what others think?
As humans we often base our perceptions of ourselves on what others think, your friend said you were good at baking – so you value that. Your 5th grade teacher told you you were great at Math, so you focused on Math. A choir leader told you that your voice was grating, so now you don’t sing. Your boss told you you were inept but you weren’t.
Who defines your value?
I have a fun exercise that I invite you to try daily. The School of Positive Psychology says – a habit is created in 21 days. So let’s create a habit that really supports you and allows you to relax into how amazing and wonderful you are and how bright your light shines and how your light impacts people whether you realise it or not. Watch what happens…..
So here we go, either first thing in the morning or as you are heading to bed, write down 3 things – that’s it, just 3 things that you value about YOURSELF.
Don’t be vague and ambiguous. An example being – “I’m healthy.” Cool, that is great, but does it stir an emotion in you? What does healthy feel like and look like for you? How about something a tad more specific such as:- “I am strong, flexible and healthy; my legs are toned and my arms are strong.” Does that evoke a more emotional response?
Here’s the challenge. Can you write 3 things a day for 21 days that you VALUE ABOUT YOURSELF? If you have always over committed, said yes to everything and put other people’s needs first all the time this will be a delicious challenge for YOU.
There is a caveat. There is no repeating. In other words, if you have written 3 things you can’t repeat them. You need to dig and explore and like an Archaeologist find more things that you value about YOU. Trust me; you are an untapped mine and you will be able to go for years, let alone 21 days.
If you are game and do this process watch what happens. In the past when someone complimented you did you brush it off and dismiss it with a “Yeah whatever, anyone could do this.” You go out to breakfast with a friend who pays the tab. In the past you may have had a debate about who is going to pay. As you didn’t value yourself and weren’t open to receiving.
All I can say is STOP! You as a person, a human a being on this planet and part of the mixed community are important and valued. Take a deep breath and when that compliment comes – smile and receive it. When your friend offers to buy you breakie, grin with a full tummy and say “Thank you”.
If you really, truly value yourself you are open to receiving.
So let go of any control issues, sit back in a comfy chair, grab something to write on/with and really start appreciating YOU. This isn’t selfish or narcissistic. It’s a case of you being the tenacious archaeologist and discovering how delightful, delicious you are and the gift that you are right here, right now.
BREATHE AND REVEL.